← Pratham Purohit

Post nut clarity.

Things were not how my brain perceived previously.

Had a buzz cut today, I feel light.

Life seems to be on track again, I realised my pattern of losing, detachment and healing. I can't force healing upon me, when I wake up my brain reconstructs it's reality, reality? my reality was my lifestlye which is no more mine, and it panics, I see it now, and I understand it now.

I was re-reading my journal and I realised, I was kind of a 'nihilist', but if I consider life had no meaning, then my depression has no meaning as well, right? Am I writing it to make me feel better? Ofcousre yes, why not? Shouldn't I make me feel better and look forward.

So, this experience taught me a lot, trust me a lot, I can observe better now. I'm more committed to starting my own prenuer, and I'm starting it today only.

Maybe next journal won't be an obsevration anymore, but what I'm actually doing.