← Pratham Purohit

What is love?

and time to be back home my boy.

I've fallen for a lot of people, I thought I was falling in love.

But maybe I was falling for the feeling of falling.

I'm very good at reaching someone. I become intense very quickly. I want to know them, talk to them, make them feel special. Everything gets wrapped inside this little balloon called love.

But I've noticed something about myself.

I'm much better at wanting something than keeping it.

I can chase someone with everything I have, but when something becomes mine, I somehow lose the discipline to take care of it. I've done this with people, studies, work, even my own life.

Maybe that's why I keep falling.

There is something about the beginning that consumes me. The uncertainty, the possibility, the feeling that maybe this person could become mine. And I mistake that intensity for love.

Maybe sometimes it is love. I don't know.

When I think about MJ, I know what I felt was real. I wanted her around. I wanted to know her day, talk to her, be stupid with her, do absolutely nothing with her.

And when she left, it hurt.

I spent years talking about attachment, suffering, impermanence and human nature. Then I became attached myself.

Turns out understanding something doesn't make you immune to it.

Maybe love isn't the intensity of reaching someone.

Maybe love begins after that.

After the excitement. After the confession. After there is nothing left to chase.

Maybe love is consistency. Maybe it's choosing to show up when everything becomes ordinary.

I don't know.

I'm still figuring it out.

But maybe I don't fall in love with people.

Maybe I fall in love with possibility.

And maybe real love is much quieter than that.